High School Musical

Yes, Wildcat fans know this is the face of their High School Musical Basketball team Captain and star player. Did it occur to anyone that he's 5'10"- and is NOT the shortest member of the team? Worse, other players don't seem to tower over him. This means an entire high school basketball team is under 6' tall!
As many of you are aware, the poor Wildcats have 16 minutes to double their score and win the game. Their game plan? Apparently to sing and dance on the court.


Miraculously - this singing, dancing bunch of short slightly femmy boys pull together to win their senior season.

What more can I say?

Status: MORONIC!!!!!!!

Cloudy Beach Days, Sunburns and Sand Toys

Recently, my daughters and I visited some friends at the beach, Jekyll Island to be exact. It was a last minute whim and weekend adventure. Despite being VERY overcast I warned we should use sunscreen. Everyone knows you can get a nasty sunburn through the clouds! A feeble attempt was made for slight sunscreen application- then our day(s) began!

The beach is ALWAYS a nice break from the real world! Kids playing building sand castles, waves rippling, walks through the water break, shell searching...you all know the do-dah. Well, the oxymoron is that I got far more "sun" and "burn" through the Georgia cloudy coastline in two days than I did a week on the sunny Barbados beach!
However, being the cleaver person that I am- I brilliantly discovered that a child's sand-trowel makes for the best back 'scratcher' ever for a peeling back! I promise! Next time your skin is ready to molt post-burn skin and it is creeping and crawling with insatiable itching- try it!

STATUS: Sunburns through Clouds- MORONIC AND OXYMORONIC

STATUS: Sand trowels to scratch peeling backs-BRILLIANT!!!

The Heartland Series has been a staple of East Tennessee for the past 25 years. Rich stories of mountain folk, country tales, music, crafts, cooking, holistic healing, river and lake life and the fine art of storytelling. The drive behind The Heartland Series is Mr. Bill Landry. He is retiring this year. Rather than replacing him (and giving someone the opportunity to be mentored by Mr. Landry) the powers that be have decided to simply end this iconic preservation of times gone by.
Joni Mitchell once sang (and Counting Crows revived it for a new generation) we "paved paradise to put up a parking lot". The Heartland Series found the areas not yet paved; sadly, this era is being concreted as I type.

Status: Moronic

Kiki's Gimpy Eye and my new Car's Carpet!

So my kitty KiKi has had a gimpy eye. It's been teary and squinty. This happened a few months ago and I asked my husband, an optometrist, to take a look at it. He tried, but didn't really know what to expect from a cat-eye. Last night he seemed unconcerned and suggested we wait and see if her eye clears up on its own.
After a rough morning of shopping (tax free weekend) I was somewhat concerned for my Kitty when I arrived home, since her eye continued to be teary. I took her immediately to the Vet. Of course her curiosity and instinct overcame her and her eyes widened and the tearing stopped. The Vet took a look and deducted she was fine. I persisted she take a more thorough look, so for a bargain of $23 bucks the Vet fluoroscein stained Kiki's eye. Ironically, many a time have these little fluorocein stain strips been left in my husbands shirt pocket during laundry only to leave a yellow stain!
$102.74 later, the doc says results are inconclusive as to why the eye is gimpy, but we can use human drops as a preventative measure to guard against and type of infection. Yep, the same ones my husband keeps in stock for his patients.
- Returning to the car, Kiki unsuccessfully tried to escape our grasp (Lins was fortunately able to grab her before a nasty car did), but despite her escape efforts, she was tossed into our car- well, my car. My new car. My first new car in 29 years. The irony? While Kitty was saved from the fate of untamed cars whizzing by, my brand new car's carpet wasn't spared from the whizzing Kitty's bladder!
: (

Dry erase markers are amazing. No one will dispute the superiority to chalk- no dust, no mess, better contrast, etc. However, the real reason they are amazing is their ability to be used on glass- window and mirrors- as a means to leave messages! Think green! The possibilities are indeed amazing! Case in point- I recently had one of my classes meet at a different location on campus. We are forever being encouraged to save paper costs. Reduce, reuse- or don't use! This year I have gone almost completely paperless in my classes, so, my natural instinct is let's just write on the door window. Students see it as they approach the door and it is easily wiped off!

Sadly, the powers that be complained. Apparently it is proper procedure to print on paper and then laminate any messages. Even a one line message for one day.

Oxymoronic? You decide.

Dogwood Winter

True Southerners have an aversion to really cold weather, especially when it happens during a sacred time period. By this I mean SPRINGTIME! Every winter, despite our doubts, we anxiously await the result of our friend, Punxsutawney Phil, the groundhog.

This year, however, something has gone seriously awry- even by the beloved groundhog's standard we are well past the extra six weeks of winter and well into every southern town's Dogwood Festivities. My husband and I spend countless hours grooming and offering blood, sweat and money into our beloved gardens. We are after all, on the Dogwood Trail where hundreds of people drive through neighborhoods admiring spring flowers- especially azaleas and the countless blooming dogwoods. Our front yard alone has nine dogwood trees, not to mention a beautifully blooming weeping cherry.

Now you're asking- where is the OXYMORON in all of this? We should suck it up- it's just a few days of chilly weather! Apparently, there is an anomaly called DOGWOOD WINTER. This is where cold weather happens while the Dogwoods are in bloom. Well, this year's OXYMORON award goes to the 28 degree snowy weather that is happening during the 2nd week of APRIL. Thanks to mother nature all of my beautiful trees will lose their beginning blooms, my azalea buds will drop off and my perennials will struggle. Forget any annuals- they're doomed completely. Maybe the desert has it right. Plant rocks.

CASE IN POINT #2

Yesterday as I was leaving WalMart garden center (hey, don't judge me) I noticed a midsized SUV slowly approaching. Not wanting to be mowed over (or even slightly grazed) at the CROSSWALK I too slowed down to make sure the SUV had seen me and would indeed respect my pedestrian right of way. The driver made eye contact with me through the open window and waved. I took a step forward only to have to jump back three feet to avoid being hit. Apparently I mistook her tapping her cigarette for a wave to go ahead. She gave me a big toothless smile and I threw my hands up in dispair and asked "what about the crosswalk?". She repeated a feeble "I'm sorry" several times, then offered, "I don't have my glasses on!".

True Story!

STATUS: BEYOND MORONIC